


Accidental Stalker

by Nigellica



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky could hold a conversation with a brick wall, Bucky is a bit of a fanboy, First Meetings, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, Meet-Cute, Meet-Weird, Misunderstandings, Musician Bucky Barnes, One Sided Conversations, Steve and Bucky are both idiots, Steve had a bad day, Steve is Captain America, Steve needs to take out his headphones, Steve needs to turn his music down, Tony likes messing with Steve, accidental stalking, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 04:32:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7345036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nigellica/pseuds/Nigellica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve just wants to do his groceries and ignore the world, he probably shouldn't have turned his music up so loud but he had a bad day.</p><p>Bucky can't believe his luck to run into Captain America in the grocery store, and the man talks to him, like actually talks. Or so he thinks anyway.</p><p>This is for all those people who talk to themselves in public places.</p><p>Alternatively called: Stalking is when two people go for a walk but only one of them knows about it<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Accidental Stalker

**Author's Note:**

> So I have a bad habit of talking to myself out loud as I wander around the shops and I had the idea, what if someone started answering and I didn't notice? We could have a whole conversation without me knowing.
> 
> This is just a bit of silliness based on that. And Hans Moleman's disappointment when Marge was talking to herself and he thought he'd made a friend. Rated mature because I tend to swear, and use Aussieisms sorry bout that.  
> If anyone thinks of a better title let me know, I couldn't think of anything. Not beta-d
> 
> I don't own the characters.

To say Steve Rogers was having a bad day would be something of an understatement. All he’d wanted to accomplish for the day was some grocery shopping, instead he’d been ambushed by a bored Tony Stark who’d dragged him to the gym to be a lab rat for his latest suit upgrades. After a couple of hours of fighting Tony and his suit Steve had managed to escape only to be caught by Natasha, determined to find him a date no matter what. By the time he freed himself from her well-meaning clutches he was desperate to just escape, so desperate that he agreed to Clint’s pleading that he show up to Phil’s birthday party in full Captain America costume. Though he maintained his refusal to jump out of a cake no matter how wide and pitiful Clint’s eyes got. Then it was sparring with Thor, coffee with Wanda, a discussion of boundaries and etiquette with Vision (just because you can walk through walls doesn’t mean you should) and finally blowing up at Sam (as much as it was possible for anyone to blow up at Sam) before he finally escaped to the supermarket around dinner time.

It was too dark to wear his usual disguise of sunnies and a cap (who wears sunnies at night? Douchebags that’s who), instead he just pulled the hood of his hoodie up, popped in his headphones and hoped for the best. Yes it was rude but that last thing he wanted was to talk to anybody.

Steve found himself calming down as he wandered the mostly empty aisles to the sounds of jazz music, barely aware he was talking to himself as he perused the shelves.

He snorted as he caught sight of a familiar looking box, “Oh god,” Steve picked the box up to look at the terrible Captain America cartoon on the ‘America-o’s’, “Yep, Captain America alright. Man this is the worst, I could draw better.”

He shoved the box back on the shelf with a chuckle, “I’m sure they’re super healthy too,” he wandered further down the aisle, “I feel like I should be more worried about that than I am.”

Steve eyed the ‘healthy food’ section, rolling his eyes at some of the things considered healthy foods, “There is no way that’s healthy, maybe I should just go straight to the fruit and veg section.”

He mentally went through what he had at home and what he was planning to cook over the next few days, he mostly just needed fresh produce, “Although… I do need pasta as well.”

Steve was jolted from his musing by an elbow colliding with his, he looked up to see a very attractive guy with long dark brown hair that just brushed his shoulders, his blue-grey eyes practically sparkled as he smiled, giving what he assumed was an apology. The blonde felt the blush spreading through his cheeks as the man turned away and walked off before Steve could even manage to get a word out.

He stared after the guy before he remembered what he was supposed to be doing, “Right, pasta,” Steve muttered before heading towards the pasta aisle.

To his great embarrassment it seemed to the brunette was heading the same way, Steve may have watched his arse as he kind of stalked the man through the supermarket (what? They happened to be going the same way, it wasn’t stalking… not yet anyway).

“All I need is pasta, then I can get the fruit and veg and go home,” Steve reminded himself as he tore his eyes from the arse ahead of him to the admittedly nicer face (not that the arse wasn’t great, but the face had those damned twinkling eyes and those incredibly smug lips).

He passed the brunette, blush firmly in place while he contemplated the different pasta varieties and grabbed a couple, if he watched the other man talk to himself while he grabbed packets of noodles nobody needed to know.

“Right, onto the produce section,” Steve announced to the many varieties of pasta as he sped off away from the brunette before he said something stupid to him.

“Soo I need…” He checked his list, studiously ignoring the brunette who appeared to be admiring the bananas in a way that was practically indecent.

“Tomatoes! And onions, that’s what I need,” Steve focused on the tomatoes like picking the right ones was a life or death situation before moving onto the onions with only a quick glance at the long haired man.

After he’d grabbed the regular vegetables Steve checked his list once more, frowning at Tony’s messy scrawl across the bottom, “Custard apple? What the hell is a custard apple?”

He looked around helplessly, “In my day we were lucky to have oranges and bananas,” his cheeks burned red when he thought of the brunette man fondling the bananas earlier.

At the thought his eyes flicked to the man once more, the man who was examining a strange green fruit in front of a cheery sign that luckily enough said custard apples (he was 98% sure that Tony liked adding odd things to his shopping lists just to see if he could find them).

“Oh thank god!” Steve exhaled, making his way slowly over to the fruit (man) to grab a couple (of the fruit, not the man).

He looked up to see blue grey eyes focused on him, almost like the man was waiting on something, Steve managed a smile and nodded in acknowledgment at the other man before he made his way to the self serve checkouts (sometimes he just didn’t want to talk to people).

Steve was stacking the last of his groceries in bags when he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to find the brunette once again, he shoved a piece of paper into his hand and walked off with his groceries and a wink. The blonde looked down to find a receipt with a mobile number scrawled across it and the words Call me? -Bucky

He stared after the man for a moment, “Bucky,” he murmured tucking the receipt into his pocket, maybe it hadn’t been such a terrible day after all.

(Tony seemed a bit disappointed that he’d managed to find the custard apples, and was even more disappointed when Steve tried them and liked them)

 

OOOOO

 

Bucky had been having a pretty alright day, the Howling Commandos had a gig until late the night before and he’d slept half the day away after the adrenaline high crashed. He’d eaten Dum Dum’s leftover Indian food with the promise he’d grab some groceries later. When inspiration struck he managed to put off shopping, instead playing around with new song ideas until dinner time came around and Dum Dum ejected him from the apartment for groceries.

Bucky made his way down the cereal aisle to grab his favourite sugar-filled cereal only to stop dead at the sight of a very familiar profile (so he’d had a Captain America poster when he was younger, what boy hadn’t?)

“Captain America!” he blurted out embarrassingly loudly

“Oh god,” the blonde man said, not even looking up from the box he was examining.

Bucky blushed and regathered himself to smile and move slightly closer, “Sorry, but, you’re Captain America right?”

“Yep, Captain America alright. Man this is the worst, I could draw better,” Captain America replied, still intent on the box of cereal in his hand.

“Seriously? You draw? Wow that’s kinda awesome, and anyway America-o’s are totally better than they look,” Bucky defended them loyally, grabbing a box to put in his cart.

The blonde shoved his box back with a chuckle, “I’m sure they’re super healthy too.”

“Hey man, don’t judge my cereal, just cuz it’s full of sugar and artificial flavouring doesn’t mean it can’t be part of a balanced diet along with beer and instant noodles,” Bucky grinned as the blonde just shook his head and walked away.

“I feel like I should be more worried about that than I am,” he said dryly.

“Well we can’t all be super soldiers, my body is a finely tuned machine run on sugary cereals and take out,” Bucky informed teasingly as he practically chased Steve Rogers down the cereal aisle.

“There is no way that’s healthy, maybe I should just go straight to the fruit and veggie section,” Steve replied, slowing up a little in front of the healthy food section.

Bucky snorted, “Wow, thanks, trying to get rid of me already? That’s cold.”

Who knew Captain America was sarcastic? It was all his teenaged dreams come true (so maybe he’d had that poster for a bit longer than just his childhood).

“Although… I do need pasta as well,” the blonde conceded and Bucky tried to hide his grin.

“Knew I could wear you down, c’mon Cap, let’s go find some pasta, I need noodles too or my housemate’ll have my arse,” Bucky nudged him slightly with his elbow, smiling as he passed him, “I’m Bucky.”

He turned to hide his grin when a light blush covered Steve’s face, he just wasn’t ready to watch Captain America blush, not at this close a distance. Not if he wanted to manage another word in the man’s presence.

“Right, pasta.” Steve muttered before following Bucky to the pasta aisle.

“I can feel you checking me out Cap,” Bucky called out, glancing back over his shoulder to find the blonde’s eyes fixed firmly on his backside, face bright red.

Oh god this was just too perfect, he thanked the universe for this golden opportunity.

“So Cap, what’re your plans for the rest of the night?” Bucky asked casually as he stopped at the noodles.

“All I need is pasta, then I can get the fruit and veg and go home,” Steve told him, looking the brunette in the eyes as he passed him, cheeks still pink.

“Wow sounds like a busy night, I would hate to get in the way of what sounds like an absolutely thrilling night,” Bucky drawled, he could see the blonde watching him from the corner of his eye.

He grabbed a few packets of noodles and turned to Steve, “So, any chance you might want to go out sometime?”

“Right, onto the produce section,” Steve practically ran out of the aisle leaving Bucky standing there with an open mouth.

He chuckled, “You’ve got to be kidding me… Captain America running away, never thought I’d see the day,” Bucky smirked and strolled casually after him.

“Soo I need…” Steve trailed off and Bucky smirked, stopping by the table of bananas to run his finger along one.

“What do you need Cap? I’m sure I could help you out,” he told him suggestively, picking one up to examine it with both hands.

“Tomatoes! And onions, that’s what I need,” the blonde took off once again, staring at the tomatoes like they held the answers to everything but Bucky could see the way his eyes flickered back to him.

The musician tossed a few bananas in his cart (Dum Dum could use them for something surely) and leaned down to rest his chin on the handle of his cart, watching Steve potter around and select fruit and veggies.

And then he made that goddamned face, brows adorably furrowed in confusion, “Custard apple? What the hell is a custard apple?”

Bucky burst out laughing and straightened up, “Captain America, language! A custard apple is a weirdarse green fruit which tastes like shit.”

He casually made his way over to where the custard apples were and held one up for Steve to see.

The blonde just looked completely and adorably lost, “In my day we were lucky to have oranges and bananas.”

“Well Cap you can come have my oranges and bananas whenever you like,” Bucky chuckled, watching in satisfaction as the other man’s cheeks reddened once again.

“Relax, I mean fruit,” he snorted.

“Oh thank god!” Steve exhaled, and slowly walked over to pick up a few of the lumpy green fruit.

“So, Steve, as fun as this has been what do you say to a date sometime? Not talking about fruit this time,” Bucky asked, watching the man hopefully.

The blonde looked up at him and smiled, the brunette was about to say something, anything, when Steve nodded and headed away to the self serve checkouts.

Bucky’s eyes widened and he tossed the custard apple into his trolley (Dum Dum could deal with the damned thing) and followed after him, trying not to cheer in the middle of the supermarket.

The brunette shoved his stuff quickly into bags and waited impatiently for his receipt to print so he could scrawl his name and number across it (fuck Dum Dum, he could do without one receipt).

He stepped up behind Steve and tapped him on the shoulder, “Hey Cap?” when the blonde spun around he shoved the receipt into his hand and winked at him.

Bucky mustered all his cool to turn and walk out, “Call me sometime okay?” he called back over his shoulder.

(When Dum Dum saw what he bought he kicked Bucky out again with a list and a take out order and you know what? Bucky didn’t even care.)


End file.
